Hey guys,
These last holiday's myself and my family went on holiday to Brisbane and Gold Coast for 10 days!! Super exciting! I had an absolute blast laying in the warm sun and going on rides. In fact...it was the first time I had ever been on a roller coaster! Super anxious but I'm glad I tried so many new things over there. We spent 5 days in Gold Coast visiting all the theme parks, shopping and seeing family. Then we spent the rest of our trip in Brisbane...and might I add, Brisbane absolutely stole my heart. It was gorgeous. We shopped some more, explored the river and went to some brilliant and hilarious shows. One of the greatest holidays I've been on (although I do say that on every adventure I go on).
I only took a few photos of the scenery, but they certainly do not share quite the experiences and fun I really had. But I thought I would share them with you.

As of right now, I am beginning to feel happier than ever.

At the start of this year, I pledged to myself that this was going to be my year. I was going to say yes to new opportunities, meet new people, try new things and most of all...be happy. For the last few years, i haven't felt 100% happy. I'm not sure why, but i've just felt as though theres a part of my happiness that's just missing...like a missing piece of a puzzle. I won't say i've been suffering with depression (because I am quite sure I am not suffering that bad), but I defiantly haven't felt like my usual, happy self these days. I've been having day's that feel like the dump, and others which are better, and the occasional day where I feel like nothing can stop me. Is this weird? Is it only me? Who knows.

What I do know is that this year has defiantly been an improvement. In the summer, I felt really sad, alone, my self esteem was so low and my anxiety/panic attacks were out of control. It was horrible. I didn't think I had a proper grip on my life. That was when I promised to myself to actually take control of my thoughts. I started by saying yes to new things. This got me out of the house, meeting new people and discovering things I actually enjoy. This was all about self discovery, and I now know what I enjoy and I'm beginning to discover who I am as a person. I'm not quite there yet...but I'm taking baby steps in this. However, A few months ago I felt almost at my utter worst. I had no motivation to do anything, I had absolutely no self esteem and I hated myself for no reason. One of the biggest hurdles I had during this time my anxiety levels were out the roof. I was having small panic attacks almost everyday for a while because I was too scared of what I had said yes to. But it was all worth it. My anxiety was gone down quite over the last 3 months. I still get very anxious but I've learnt how to control these fears and keep my panic to a bare minimum. Which is fantastic! I'm not sure if it is just today, but I just feel so happy. I really hope it's not just today...i mean, I can only go up from here.

I've just written down this jumble from my brain down (which probably makes no sense) just because, I don't want to sound cliché, but I hope that this does genuinely help someone, I mean, even just writing down my thoughts has helped me out immensely. I just want you to know it does get better. It all takes time. Thanks for letting me use this blog as an outlet for my brain.

Love you all xx